Embracing a Healthy Family: Where Does the Temper Come From?

Where Does the Temper Come From?

I just don't understand how a three year old could need anger management classes already.  I understand the terrible twos go into the terrible threes as I have two older kids but man, my three year old is a heart attack waiting to happen.  She throws things, slams things, hits things, screams until she's shaking and it worries me that she might give herself a heart attack over how angry she gets.


Anything can make her blow her gasket and it's also trying as spanking doesn't work.  Of course I'm told if I'm going to spank, I have to make it hurt.  Nope, sorry, can't do that!  I would be in tears myself if I did that.  I try time out but she just keeps screaming and crying. I hope it's a phase she will outgrow soon!


Anyone have any tips or suggestions?

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One Mama said...

I feel your pain. My daughter did the same thing at that age and of course everyone told me that it was just a stage. She is now six and sometimes does the same thing. The hard part for me is that I get mad at her and yell back.

What works best for us is a mutual time-out. When she is really upset and then I get really upset, I put her in her room to calm down and tell her I'm going to my room because I am upset at her. She knows that when she is calm we can talk about how we can solve whatever set her off to begin with. This usually takes about five minutes. Of course it was harder when she was three, but now we have it pretty well controlled.

stacythemagnificentmommy said...

How is she verbally? Can she communicate clearly what is upsetting her? I usually try to get my kiddo to use her words. For us, having her lay down for a bit helps but sounds like your kiddo is more 'physical,' for lack of a better word. what calms her? would a body hug type thing help and for you to hold her tightly until she has calmed down enough to talk about the situation? i like to think of it as an emotional swaddle.
it's so hard being 3 and wanting to be all grown up!

YouthfulTips said...

Thanks, One Mama! You are right in that it's hard not to yell back and I know it only encourages the bad behavior. I tried the time out type thing of leaving her in the living room and I went to my office area to keep some distance. She kept crying and crying.

She has severe asthma and allergies so I have to be careful or she'll have an attack which makes it worse!

YouthfulTips said...

Thank you, Stacy! I tried the emotional hugging with my seven year old which sometimes worked. I forgot all about it and will try it.

She can talk clearly but she gets so upset, I can't understand her. It's usually because she can't figure out a game, or a toy or something that she can't do that she wants to.

I'm going to try the hugging tomorrow!