Embracing a Healthy Family: LISA'S LAIR by Lisa Laird DiRosso

LISA'S LAIR by Lisa Laird DiRosso

I am happy and excited to announce that Lisa Laird DiRosso, author of He Who Sings Last, will be featured as a guest columnist on my blog!

Catching Dreams

As a child, I desperately wanted a baseball glove; my parents refused to buy me one. In Baldwin, Long Island back in the 1970s, it just wasn’t something your average girl owned. Or at least none of the girls I was friendly with. The neighborhood boys would play baseball at the bottom of the hill on the street where I lived. The times they invited us girls to play were some of the best times I remember. I recall mostly playing the game with tennis balls, so not having a glove didn’t stop me from being on a team. However, in my mind, I believed that the crucial difference between a good player and an outstanding player was the glove. If only I had possessed that snugly, fitted piece of leather, I would have known for sure.

On one hand (no pun intended), owning the glove may have proved it was solely capable of grasping baseballs and tennis balls, not dreams. On the other hand, never having owned the glove as a kid had its advantage… it allowed me to hold onto the hope of the uncertain possibility that wearing the glove would have transformed me into the outstanding player I longed to become.

While reminiscing nine or ten years ago, I had told someone my glove story. The next day, there was a Rawlings baseball glove in my mailbox with a note that said: Go catch your dreams! I wore that glove many-an-evening, tossing a ball up in the air and catching it. I’d think about my life, past, present, and future and make plans and ponder dreams. Sometimes I wished upon stars. I never did get the chance to play an actual game wearing the glove, but that’s okay. It is better I never found out if the glove would have made a difference or not; uncertainty sustains hope.

I noticed the tag attached to the glove. (Copyright-The Rawlings Sporting Goods Company, 1991) The beginning read as such:

“A baseball glove is a beginning and an ending…a child’s first sure step towards adulthood, an adult’s final lingering hold on youth. It is promise and memory…”A few months ago, the daughter of a good friend of mine wanted a baseball glove to practice catching. I placed the cherished glove on my hand one last time before releasing it to its new owner. I envisioned myself thirty-something years younger and how being handed a glove back then would have meant the world to me. In my eyes, it will always represent promise. To an eager child, it will also someday represent memory. Promise and memory…and maybe even catch some dreams.

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Soul Mate Searching

Too bad higher education doesn't offer degrees in dating. Is it possible for anyone to earn a Master's degree in marital bliss? "Sealing the deal" with the ideal person is one area where no-one has an advantage over anyone else. The quest begins during adolescence and progresses with each year thereafter. The whole ordeal is mostly disappointing, disenchanting, and emotionally exhausting. It's like one big, stressful game of "Spin the Bottle." Although most of us forfeit and succumb to marriage, it's not usually the dreamy great expectation we had hoped for.

Time after time I have heard the expression, "We always want the person we can't have" and it irritates me tremendously. Whereas the common belief is that it is the "thrill of the chase" we are attracted to, and not the actual person, I view it differently. Desiring the guy I "couldn't have" was always motivated by the possibility that he was the guy I was meant to have, destined to be with.

From what I've observed, most people don't believe in destiny. They may not even think about it, or, perhaps as solely a passing thought. I absolutely believe there is a soul mate for each of us. Regretfully, most of us will never locate and/or realize our divine treasures. The following simple concept may explain why so many relationships fail: If there were a shortage of apples and your mind was set on an apple, you wouldn't buy an orange and color it red, would you? I wouldn't; I'd hold out for the apple. Because no matter how much you try to make the orange look like an apple, it's still an orange. However, we compromise when it comes to relationships all the time. I'm sure that's why so many fail.

Your soul mate could be anyone, anywhere. And let me say this, the odds are not in your favor, not by a long shot. We start the search at a disadvantage. From the very beginning, the majority of people are off-limits for whatever the reason...too many to list. As if the search isn't difficult enough, we must recognize and eliminate con artists, frauds, and phonies, if we are lucky enough to pull off their masks and expose them as the diversions from destiny that they are. As in a video game, we must survive each level to go on to the next. The ultimate reward is a counterpart less than perfect to the world, but, more than perfect for his or her mate. If you are one of the fortunate few to find your treasure, consider your beloved a rare and sacred blessing. You will truly know the meaning of wealth.

Remember, your soul mate could be anywhere. As in the video game, collect your ammunition, gather lots of extra energy, and run as fast as you can. Jump over obstacles and dodge the enemies! Try your best to reach the highest level, to survive the game. You may never win and be united with your soul mate; nevertheless, I cannot stress how important it is to give it your best effort. If circumstances outside of your control prevent you from grasping gold, then aim for silver. Don't accept bronze.

Sadly enough, too many settle for aluminum foil.